Yup-Yup latest

This guy has been ringing my bell so much I have resorted to locking my front gate as soon as I get home at night, just not to be bothered with him. But since my next door neighbors haven't put a doorknob that locks in their gate, nor have they replaced the fence between their yard and mine, Yup-yup can come in through their yard.

He did so just as I was sitting down to dinner. "Miss Maritza, what can I do for you?" he said cheerfully, waving a wooden salad fork and some contraption to dry polished nails, I think.

"How many times do I have to tell you I'm between jobs and I haven't been paid since November!"

"This isn't about money," he said sweetly. "I just want to know what I can do for you." (Yep, he's a pimp, all right. But I am not his ho. Jesus.)

"When I lock the front gate, it means I do not want to be disturbed," I said sternly.

"Oh, I didn't know that," he said, turning to leave immediately. I swear I'm going to start answering the door with the phone in my hand. If it's him I'm just going to call 911. I've had it.